takeaction

It’s amazing to me, how I can cognitively know that food can’t really make me well when I’m sick, can’t really console me after a long stressful day, and certainly can’t give me what I want, yet I turn to it time and again to meet these needs.

In one of my classes we are discussing the difference between knowing and understanding. Although we tend to wind up splitting hairs during these discussions, I ‘ve been struck by the fact that I must not completely understand my eating and its consequences. Sure, when I sit back and get really introspective, I can theorize until the cows come home, yet when I am stumbling through the door after a tiring day chasing kids around, I don’t really understand the cost of reaching for the pantry door will be.

I guess that’s why I am excited about journaling my food and exercise and keeping myself accountable through buddyslim. It allows me to step back regularly and examine my choices. Maybe (for me) the key piece is allowing myself TIME to think about what I’m doing (or what I’m eating.) I have been a compulsive, binge eater since puberty hit, and when I am really in a frenzy, I don’t want to understand what my eating is going to do to me. In fact, I go to great lengths to persuade myself that my food choices are going to be ok. I am all for being positive, but there comes a time when you gotta be honest w/ yourself!!

All right, although I feel exhausted from work both mentally and physically, I am going to jump on the treadmill. This weight-loss thing is not going to be easy, but I know that I can do it, which is something that I’m truly beginning to not only understand, but believe as well.